JUICE —Florida Politics' Juicy Read 🍊 —2.24.2023 — The Tallahassee to Miami Poop Flight From Hell—DeSantis to End Free Tuition for Illegal Immigrants—Much More...

The Stinky Flight From Hell

The final committee week in Tallahassee concluded on Thursday. Lawmakers, lobbyists, and media types were eager to get home, some jumping in the car and driving home, while others headed to the airport. Senator Shevrin Jones, who usually takes the 8:30 pm American Airlines flight to Miami, took the earlier flight home.

Lucky him.

The evening American Airlines flight into Miami from Tallahassee is considered the Star Wars bar scene or the Muppet Show flight because the who’s who of politics is usually on the flight.

Thursday night's flight was no different.

Lt. Gov. Jeanette Nuñez, Reps. Danny Perez, Robin Bartleman, and Alina Garcia, and a host of lobbyists, not to mention yours truly, all made the flight only to be greeted by two busted lavatories.

I can’t emphasize how many times the term “Holy crap” crossed my mind.

What could we all do but laugh at the situation, right?

We were forewarned of the lavatory issue prior to boarding, but the American Airlines crew failed to tell us of the stench that would meet us as we boarded.

When I tell you the plane smelled like a sewer, I am not exaggerating.

It was easy to point the finger at Nelson Diaz sitting right behind me. Why not, Nelson has the look about him.

Kidding Nelson, tómalo con take it easy (Spanglish for take it easy)

You can imagine all the poop and flatulence jokes that ran through people's minds.

What’s funny is that Nelson gave up his First Class seat to allow Lt. Gov. Nuñez to sit a little more "comfortably."

Admirable, but like I told Nelson, “why would you put Jeanette closer to the lavatory?"

So, Nuñez sat about 6 feet from the lavatory door, Perez and I were right behind her in 3D and 4D, all of us having a front-row seat to the sh-t show flight down to the Miami boogie down.

Wait, you're telling me that the crew couldn’t ‘dump’ a pot of hot coffee down the pooper or spray some of abuela's perfume in the pooper to at least cut some of the almost visible fecal-matter-filled air?

You can imagine how much I laughed when they gave us the preflight instructions about what to do if the oxygen masks were deployed during the flight.

“This is the perfect scenario for the masks to drop down, God knows we are all suffocated right now,” said your lovable little fuzzball media type.

American Airlines responded to my concern prior to the flight departing.

Wait, let me just note that the flight was late as usual because Cuban time dictates everything coming in and out of Miami-Dade County.

Dale! As my Cuban-American amigos like to say.

 

 

DeSantis Says NO MAS to Free Tuition or Illegal Immigrants

During a presser in Jacksonville with Sen. Blaise Ingoglia, Gov. DeSantis put his black cowboy boots down on free tuition for illegal immigrants.

“Why would we subsidize non-U.S. citizens when we want to make sure we can keep it affordable for our own people,” asked Gov. DeSantis. READ MORE

Gabriel Groisman-Jew Haters around the US are calling for a “Day of Hate” this weekend.

I’m calling for a “Weekend of Jewish Pride.”

Join Me!

Maxwell Alejandro Frost-Honored to be apart of a US Delegation to Japan & Korea. While here, we’ve been focused on the climate crisis, energy, trade, security, and human rights. I’ll be sharing some recaps from the trip over the next several days!

Paul Renner-The most concerning threat of ESG is the risk it poses to our democracy. Checks & balances are the genius of our system & protect us from tyranny of unaccountable elites. ESG hijacks democracy, ignoring the will of We The People.

Kat Cammack-In Florida, we think sunlight is the best disinfectant, which is why we’re highlighting the devastating humanitarian, public health, and crime crisis at its very origin: the southern border.

Rep. Anna V. Eskamani -Nine year old T'Yonna Major died after she was shot along with her mother in a series of killings Wednesday in the Pine Hills community. She was remembered as an outstanding student and a promising young gymnast. Please give to her family’s GoFundMe.

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The Juice is squeezed by Javier Manjarres, Jim McCool, and Daniel Molina